How to calm anxiety: what works right now, and what works long term

When anxiety takes hold, “just relax” is the least helpful advice there is. You can’t think your way out of a racing heart, and you can’t argue with a worry that keeps coming back.

What you can do is give your body and mind something better to do. Here’s what helps in the first few minutes, what helps over the following hours, and what lowers anxiety over the long run.

If you’re thinking about ending your life, please call or text 988 (US) now, or call 911 in an emergency.

Calm anxiety in the next 60 seconds

Start with your body. It’s much easier to calm your body first and let your mind follow than the other way round.

1. Breathe out for longer than you breathe in. In through your nose for 4, out through your mouth for 6. A long out-breath slows your heart and tells your nervous system the danger has passed.
2. Drop your shoulders and unclench your jaw. Let your hands go loose. Tense muscles keep telling your brain something is wrong.
3. Feel your feet on the floor. Press them down. Notice the weight of your body in the chair.
4. Name it. “This is anxiety. It’s uncomfortable, but it isn’t dangerous. It will pass.” Naming a feeling helps take some of its power away.

If your body won’t settle

• Use cold. Splash cold water on your face, or hold something cold against your cheeks and forehead for 15 to 30 seconds. Cold on your face can trigger a reflex that slows your heart. Skip this if you have a heart condition.
• Move. A brisk 5-minute walk, some stairs or shaking out your arms and legs uses up the adrenaline your body has released.
• Tense and release. Squeeze your fists, shoulders or feet hard for 5 seconds, then let go and notice the difference. This is a quick version of progressive muscle relaxation.
• Ground yourself. Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste.

If your mind won’t settle

• Write the worry down. Getting it out of your head and onto paper makes it smaller and more concrete.
• Ask what you’d tell a friend. Anxiety is very harsh. Imagine a friend had this worry. What would you say to them?
• Separate “now” from “what if”. Is there something you can actually do about this today? If yes, do one small step. If not, it’s a “what if”, and it can wait.
• Give your worry a time slot. Pick 15 minutes later in the day for worrying. When a worry comes up before then, jot it down and save it for later. By worry time, many feel smaller.
• Change the channel. Do something that needs your full attention: a puzzle, a game, cooking, a conversation, counting backwards from 100 in 7s.

What makes anxiety worse

Some things feel calming in the moment but keep anxiety going:

• Avoiding things. Every time you avoid a situation, you feel relief, and your brain learns that the situation was dangerous. Next time it feels harder.
• Asking for reassurance again and again. It helps for a moment, then the doubt comes back, often stronger.
• Searching your symptoms. You’ll find the scariest possible explanation.
• Alcohol and other drugs. They can numb anxiety for a few hours, but they tend to make it worse the next day, and they disrupt your sleep.
• Fighting the feeling. Trying hard to not feel anxious keeps your attention on it. Letting it be there, while you carry on, works better.

Daily habits that lower anxiety over time

These won’t stop anxiety overnight, but together they lower your baseline, so you start each day with more room before anxiety tips over.

• Move your body. A large review of more than 1,000 trials found that physical activity had a medium-sized effect on anxiety symptoms. Walking counts. More intense exercise seemed to help more.
• Protect your sleep. Tiredness makes your brain far more reactive to threat. Keep regular sleep and wake times, even at weekends.
• Go easy on caffeine. Coffee, energy drinks, pre-workout and some teas and sodas can cause a racing heart and jitters that feel exactly like anxiety. Try cutting down slowly, to avoid withdrawal headaches.
• Eat regularly. Long gaps between meals can leave you shaky and irritable.
• Practise calm when you’re calm. A few minutes of slow breathing every day makes it much easier to use when you need it.
• Do one small brave thing. Gently facing what you’ve been avoiding, one step at a time, is one of the most powerful ways to shrink anxiety.
• Stay connected. Talking to someone you trust, even about something else, helps.

When anxiety needs more support

Everyone feels anxious sometimes. It’s worth talking to a doctor if:

• you feel anxious most days, for weeks
• anxiety stops you working, studying, seeing people or going places
• you’re having panic attacks
• you’re using alcohol or drugs to cope
• you feel low or hopeless as well as anxious

Anxiety is very treatable. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments. It helps you notice the thoughts and habits that keep anxiety going and gently change them. Some people are offered medicine too, often an SSRI, and many people do best with both. A doctor can talk you through the options.

Frequently asked questions

How can I calm anxiety fast?

Start with your out-breath: in for 4, out for 6, for a minute or two. Add something physical, like cold water on your face or pressing your feet into the floor. Your body calms faster than your thoughts, so begin there.

How do I calm anxiety at night?

Night-time anxiety needs a slightly different plan, because lying in bed worrying can teach your brain that bed is a place for worry. Our post on how to calm an anxiety attack at night has a step-by-step plan.

Can you calm anxiety without medication?

Many people can. Breathing, exercise, sleep, less caffeine, and above all CBT help a great deal. For some people, medicine makes a real difference, and there’s no shame in using it. It’s a decision to make with a doctor, not a test you pass or fail.

Why do calming techniques sometimes make me more anxious?

Sometimes focusing on your breathing makes you more aware of it, or you try so hard to relax that it becomes another thing to get right. If that happens, switch to something outward-focused, like grounding or walking. Our post on why deep breathing can make anxiety worse explains more.

How Breatheasy can help

Breatheasy puts the first steps in your pocket. Tap “I’m feeling anxious” and Luma walks you through it: rate how strong it feels from 1 to 10, breathe slowly as your phone pulses gently, ground yourself with 5-4-3-2-1, then see how far the anxiety came down. Short daily breathing exercises help you practise when you’re calm, and ten-second check-ins and a journal help you spot what tends to set your anxiety off. Breatheasy is coming soon to iPhone and Android.

Sources

• Get help with anxiety, fear or panic, NHS
• Breathing exercises for stress, NHS
• Generalised anxiety disorder in adults, NHS
• Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), NHS
• Effectiveness of physical activity interventions for improving depression, anxiety and distress, Singh and others, British Journal of Sports Medicine, 2023
• Anxiety disorders, National Institute of Mental Health
• Spilling the beans: how much caffeine is too much?, US Food and Drug Administration