Financial anxiety: how to cope when money worries take over

The envelope sits unopened on the counter. Your banking app has a notification you haven’t checked. At night you lie awake doing sums that never add up.

Money worries are one of the most common sources of stress, and they can feed anxiety in a way few other things do, because money touches everything: home, food, family, health and the future. Here’s how to cope with the anxiety, and how to take practical steps that make it smaller.

If money worries have left you feeling hopeless or thinking about ending your life, please call or text 988 (US) now. You can also call 211 for local help with essentials like food, housing and bills.

What financial anxiety feels like

“Financial anxiety” isn’t a medical diagnosis, but it’s a very real experience:

• constant worry about money, bills or debt
• dread when you check your bank balance, or avoiding checking at all
• trouble sleeping, often lying awake doing sums
• a tight chest, churning stomach or headaches
• irritability, or arguments about money
• feeling ashamed or embarrassed
• difficulty concentrating at work
• spending to cope, or freezing and not spending even on essentials

Why money worries hit so hard

• They threaten basic needs, like housing and food, which your brain treats as survival.
• Uncertainty. Not knowing how bad things are is often worse than knowing.
• Shame. Many people feel money problems are a personal failure, which makes them harder to talk about and act on.
• No end in sight. Unlike many worries, debt can feel like it will never go away.

The avoidance trap

When something frightens you, avoiding it brings quick relief. So bills go unopened, calls go unanswered and statements go unchecked. But avoidance keeps the anxiety high, because your brain imagines the worst, and it can make the money problem bigger through missed payments, late fees and lost chances to arrange help.

The way out is to face the numbers, gently and in small doses.

First steps

1. Set a short “money time.” Choose 20 to 30 minutes, at a time when you’re not exhausted. Make a drink, sit somewhere comfortable and breathe out slowly before you start.
2. Open everything. Make one pile. You don’t have to solve it all today, just see what’s there.
3. Write down the facts: what comes in, what must go out (housing, food, utilities, essential bills), and what you owe and to whom.
4. Prioritise essentials. Housing, utilities, food and anything with serious consequences, like taxes or court fines, usually come first.
5. Pick one next step, like calling one creditor or booking an appointment with a credit counsellor.
6. Stop when the time’s up. Write down where you got to, and plan the next session.

Get trustworthy help

You don’t have to work this out alone, and good help is often free:

• Nonprofit credit counselling. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org) can connect you with a nonprofit credit counsellor who can help with budgeting and, if suitable, a debt management plan.
• 211. Call 211 or visit 211.org for local help with rent, utilities, food and other essentials.
• Your creditors. Many lenders, utilities and landlords have hardship programmes, payment plans or deferrals, especially if you contact them early.
• The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (consumerfinance.gov) has free guides on debt, debt collectors and your rights.
• Your employer. Many Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) include free, confidential financial counselling as well as emotional support.

Watch out for debt relief scams

When you’re anxious about money, offers that promise to make debt disappear can be very tempting. The US Federal Trade Commission warns:

• It’s illegal for debt relief companies selling by phone to charge you a fee before they’ve actually settled or reduced your debt.
• A legitimate debt relief company won’t make you pay upfront. And if you send money to a debt settlement company instead of paying your creditors, the FTC says you’re taking a risk.
• Nobody can guarantee that your creditors will forgive your debts.
• You can talk to your creditors yourself about a repayment plan, for free.
• Be suspicious of unexpected calls offering to lower your credit card interest rate.

If something feels pushy or too good to be true, step back and check with a nonprofit counsellor first.

Coping with the anxiety itself

• Breathe out slowly when money worries spike. In for 4, out for 6.
• Keep worries to “money time.” If they come up at other times, jot them down for your next session.
• Separate what you can control (your next step, your spending this week) from what you can’t (interest rates, the economy).
• Talk to someone. Shame grows in silence. A partner, friend or counsellor can help you think clearly.
• Look after the basics: sleep, regular meals and some movement. They’re free, and they help you cope.
• Go easy on alcohol, which can make anxiety and money decisions worse.

If gambling is part of the picture

If money problems are linked to gambling, you’re not alone, and help is available. The National Problem Gambling Helpline is free and confidential: call 1-800-MY-RESET (1-800-697-3738).

When to get more support

Talk to a doctor or therapist if:

• money anxiety is there most of the time, or affecting your sleep, work or relationships
• you’re having panic attacks
• you feel hopeless or very low
• you’re drinking or using other drugs to cope

Get help right away if you’re thinking about ending your life. Call or text 988 (US), or 911 in an emergency. Money problems can feel overwhelming, but they can almost always be worked through, with help.

Frequently asked questions

Is financial anxiety a mental illness?

It isn’t a diagnosis on its own. Worrying about money is a normal response to real pressure. But if money worries become constant, uncontrollable and affect your daily life, it may be part of an anxiety disorder, which is very treatable.

How do I stop worrying about money at night?

Set a short “money time” earlier in the day, write down your next step, and keep a notepad by the bed for any worries that pop up. Our post on how to sleep with anxiety has more ideas.

Where can I get free help with debt?

Nonprofit credit counselling through the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, 211 for local help with essentials, your creditors’ hardship programmes and your employer’s EAP are good places to start.

How can I tell if a debt relief company is a scam?

Red flags include asking for fees before they’ve settled or reduced any debt, asking you to send them money instead of paying your creditors, guaranteeing results and pressuring you to sign up quickly. A nonprofit credit counsellor can give you an honest second opinion.

How Breatheasy can help

Breatheasy can help you stay steady while you face money worries. Before you open the envelopes, a minute of slow breathing, with your phone pulsing gently as you breathe in, can take the edge off. If worry turns into panic, tap “I’m feeling anxious” and Luma walks you through it. Ten-second check-ins help you notice how money stress affects your mood and sleep. Breatheasy is coming soon to iPhone and Android.

Sources

• Debt relief and credit repair scams, US Federal Trade Commission
• Signs of a debt relief scam, US Federal Trade Commission
• National Foundation for Credit Counseling
• 211, United Way
• Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
• National Council on Problem Gambling
• Generalised anxiety disorder in adults, NHS