Breathing exercises for emotional regulation

Anger that flares in a second. Panic that comes from nowhere. Sadness or overwhelm that floods in. Big emotions are part of being human, but when they take over, it can be hard to think clearly or act the way you want to.

Emotional regulation is the skill of noticing a strong feeling and riding it out, without being swept away by it. Breathing is one of the simplest ways to do that, because it’s one of the few parts of your body’s stress response you can directly control.

How breathing calms your emotions

Strong emotions switch on your body’s fight-or-flight response: your heart speeds up, you breathe faster and your muscles tense. Your body then sends those signals back to your brain, which can make the emotion feel even bigger.

Slow breathing works the other way. Breathing out slowly activates the part of your nervous system that rests and calms you. Your heart rate dips a little every time you breathe out, so a longer out-breath gives your body more of that calming effect. A review of studies on slow breathing found it linked to more relaxation and calm, and less anxiety and anger.

5 breathing exercises for big feelings

1. Cyclic sighing: for overwhelm

1. Breathe in through your nose until your lungs are nearly full.
2. Take a second, short sip of air on top.
3. Breathe out slowly and fully through your mouth.
4. Repeat for a few minutes.

In a 2023 Stanford study, people who did five minutes of cyclic sighing a day for a month had bigger improvements in mood than people who practised mindfulness meditation.

2. Long out-breath: for anxiety and panic

Breathe in through your nose for 4, out through your mouth for 6. Simple, invisible, and works anywhere. Our breathing exercises for panic attacks has more on this.

3. Box breathing: for focus under pressure

In for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. The steady rhythm gives your mind something to hold on to, which can help before a difficult conversation or decision.

4. Counting breaths: for racing thoughts

Count each out-breath from 1 to 10, then start again. If you lose count, go back to 1. It gently pulls your attention away from spiralling thoughts.

5. Breathe and name it: for anger or hurt

As you breathe out slowly, silently name the feeling: “This is anger.” Naming an emotion, rather than acting on it straight away, can turn its volume down. Keep breathing until you feel steady enough to choose what to do next.

When to use breathing

• Early. Breathing works best when you catch a feeling as it rises, before it peaks.
• Before hard moments, like a difficult conversation, a presentation or a phone call.
• After a flare-up, to help your body settle.
• Every day. A few minutes of practice when you’re calm makes it easier to use when you need it.

Breathing won’t make feelings disappear, and it isn’t meant to. Emotions carry important information. The goal is to give yourself enough calm to respond, rather than react.

How Breatheasy can help

Breatheasy makes these exercises easy to reach for. Its Calm, Box and 4-7-8 breathing exercises run for 1, 3 or 5 minutes, with your phone pulsing as you breathe in, so you can close your eyes and follow along. Ten-second check-ins and a journal help you notice your emotional patterns over time, and if a feeling tips into panic, the panic button walks you through it. Breatheasy is coming soon to iPhone and Android.

When to get help

Talk to a doctor or therapist if strong emotions often feel out of control, are affecting your relationships or work, or if you’re feeling low or anxious most days. Therapies like CBT and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) teach emotional regulation skills, and can make a big difference.

If you’re in crisis or thinking about ending your life, call or text 988, or call 911 if you’re in danger.

Sources

• Balban et al. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine.
• Zaccaro et al. (2018). How breath-control can change your life: a systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience.
• Russo, Santarelli and O’Rourke (2017). The physiological effects of slow breathing in the healthy human. Breathe.