10 myths about intrusive thoughts, and what’s actually true

A sudden image of hurting someone you love. A blasphemous thought in a place of worship. A fear that you might shout something terrible in a quiet room. A doubt that you locked the door, again.

Intrusive thoughts can be shocking, and the myths around them make them far more frightening than they need to be. Here are ten of the most common myths, and what’s actually true.

Myth 1: Only people with OCD have intrusive thoughts

Truth: almost everyone has them. In a study of 777 people at 15 sites across six continents, about 94% reported at least one unwanted intrusive thought in the previous three months. Back in the 1970s, researchers found that the intrusive thoughts of people without OCD were often similar in content to the obsessions of people with OCD. The difference was how often they came, how upsetting they were, and how hard people fought them.

Myth 2: Having a thought means I secretly want it

Truth: intrusive thoughts usually go against what you want. That’s exactly why they’re so upsetting. A loving parent is horrified by a thought of harming their child precisely because they love their child. The distress is evidence of your values, not a sign of a hidden wish.

Myth 3: Thinking something makes it more likely to happen

Truth: thoughts don’t change what happens in the world. Believing that thinking about something bad can make it happen, or is as bad as doing it, has a name: thought-action fusion. It’s a very common thinking trap, especially in OCD, but it isn’t how the world works.

Myth 4: A bad thought makes me a bad person

Truth: you are not your thoughts. Brains generate random, odd and sometimes disturbing thoughts all the time. What defines you is what you value and what you do, not every thought that passes through your mind.

Myth 5: I should push the thought away

Truth: pushing thoughts away tends to bring them back. In a famous experiment, people who first tried not to think about a white bear went on to think about it more, once they were allowed to, than people who had been free to think about it all along. Fighting a thought gives it more importance and attention.

Myth 6: I need to work out what the thought means

Truth: most intrusive thoughts don’t mean anything. Analysing them, testing yourself (“Do I feel anything when I picture it?”) and searching for an answer keeps the thought at the centre of your attention. The thought is just a thought. It doesn’t need solving.

Myth 7: Reassurance will make it go away

Truth: reassurance helps for a moment, then the doubt comes back, often stronger. Asking others, checking online or repeatedly telling yourself “I would never” teaches your brain that the thought was dangerous and needed answering. Our post on why reassurance keeps OCD going explains this loop.

Myth 8: If it feels this scary, it must be important

Truth: feelings aren’t facts. Anxiety attaches itself to whatever seems most threatening. The stronger the feeling, the more your brain treats the thought as important, which makes it feel even scarier. A loud alarm doesn’t mean there’s a fire.

Myth 9: Intrusive thoughts mean I’m losing my mind

Truth: they’re a normal part of how brains work. Having them, even often, doesn’t mean you’re “going crazy” or losing control. People who worry about losing control are usually the most careful people of all.

Myth 10: They’ll never go away

Truth: intrusive thoughts usually fade when you stop fighting them, and if they’re part of OCD, treatment works well. A form of cognitive behavioural therapy called exposure and response prevention (ERP) is the most effective treatment for OCD and helps most people.

What actually helps

1. Notice and label it: “That’s an intrusive thought.”
2. Let it be there, without arguing, analysing or pushing it away. Imagine it as a leaf floating past on a stream.
3. Carry on with what you were doing, even if the anxiety is still there.
4. Resist rituals, like checking, reassurance-seeking or mentally “cancelling” the thought.
5. Breathe slowly if the anxiety is strong. It will rise and fall on its own.

Our post on how to stop intrusive thoughts explains these steps in more detail, and intrusive vs impulsive thoughts explains how they differ from urges.

When it might be OCD

Talk to a doctor or therapist if:

• intrusive thoughts take up more than an hour a day
• you feel driven to do things to feel safe, like checking, washing, counting, praying, seeking reassurance or mentally reviewing
• you avoid people, places or objects because of the thoughts
• they’re causing a lot of distress or getting in the way of your life

Look for a therapist trained in ERP. The International OCD Foundation (iocdf.org) has information and a directory.

Get help right away if you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else that feel like urges, plans or intentions rather than unwanted thoughts, or if you’re thinking about ending your life. Call or text 988 (US), or 911 in an emergency.

Frequently asked questions

Are intrusive thoughts normal?

Yes. Research across six continents found about 94% of people have them. They become a problem when they’re frequent, very distressing and lead to rituals or avoidance.

Can intrusive thoughts make you do something?

No. An intrusive thought isn’t an urge or a plan, and having one doesn’t make you more likely to act on it. People with intrusive thoughts about harm are usually horrified by them and go out of their way to avoid harm.

Why do I get intrusive thoughts about things I love?

Intrusive thoughts tend to latch onto what matters most to you, like your children, your partner, your faith or your values, because that’s where they cause the most alarm. It’s a sign of what you care about.

Do intrusive thoughts ever go away?

Most people find they become much less frequent and less upsetting once they stop fighting them. If they’re part of OCD, ERP therapy helps most people a great deal.

How Breatheasy can help

Breatheasy includes a free tool for riding out urges. When an intrusive thought brings a strong urge to check, seek reassurance or do a ritual, open “Ride out an urge” and Luma helps you watch the urge rise and fall without acting on it. If anxiety spikes, tap “I’m feeling anxious” for slow breathing and grounding. Luma is designed not to give endless reassurance about OCD doubts, because reassurance keeps them going. Breatheasy is coming soon to iPhone and Android.

Sources

• Part 1, You can run but you can’t hide: intrusive thoughts on six continents, Radomsky and others, Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 2014
• Abnormal and normal obsessions, Rachman and de Silva, Behaviour Research and Therapy, 1978
• Paradoxical effects of thought suppression, Wegner and others, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1987
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder, National Institute of Mental Health
• International OCD Foundation